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Heist of the century, ministers accepting bribes,
An eleven-year-old boy stabbed and thrown into a wheelie-bin.
And I say to myself what a wonderful world.
Thousands of years of tensions exploding in Iraq
Leading inevitably to civil war. Of course the British and American governments are not to blame for this situation.
Helicopters scouring estuaries and marshlands for dead birds as bird flu spreads.
A woman’s jaw is broken in six different places.
Another pop star is found slumped over the wheel of his car.
And I say to myself what a wonderful world.
The good people try in vain to bring up their kids right,
Meanwhile in parliament yet another education bill is being prepared
And plans are being made by government to combat child obesity.
How sad have we become even children can’t stay healthy anymore.
But then again why should they when smoking cannabis is no longer against the law?
An asylum seeker gets sentenced to twelve weeks for careless driving
After mowing some innocent victim down and fleeing the scene.
No license, no tax, no insurance.
No problem is it when there is no punishment.
Only the good and hard–working are taxed and punished these days.
There will probably be another shooting tonight
As drug wars rage throughout my city.
They might even use your car to do the shooting from.
All people want is the simple things back.
Good neighbours and respect for our elders
And the pillars of our community the police, the teachers, our parents!
I am waging my personal war in the schools and on the streets
But I can only use words to hurt the people who need hurting.
We need to change the rules and get tough.
So I can sing wonderful world and mean it.
SEVEN
A HIMALAYAN HILLBILLY.
If I was a Himalayan hillbilly
I wouldn’t have to work.
I would blow bubbles all day
And live on grass and goats milk.
If I was a Jacobean juggler
I wouldn’t have to pay no rent.
I would sing and dance and joke with kings.
And eat at the royal table.
But ifs and whens are just pleasant thoughts
Films we watch to pass the time of day.
Our real self is a million cells
Subdividing and dying and reassimilating.
Life is just a food chain
Don’t let it cloud up your head.
As long as you’re eating and breathing and walking
You got no reason to wish you were dead.
One day you’ll be part of the food chain
That’s when you’ll wish you were a Himalayan hillbilly.
Using the phone.
I rang up my brain
To invite him out to lunch
But he was already out.
I rang up my heart
For a heart to heart talk
But somebody had already taken it.
I telephoned my soul
To check out my future
To see if he was taking a holiday
In heaven or hell.
But he said he wasn’t taking a holiday.
I put down the phone and my lover rang
To ask me if I still loved her.
I said, “You tell me, I don’t know.
I have given you my heart my soul and my brain”
“I had to sell them alas,” she said.
“But why did you do such a deadly thing?”
“I had no choice, I had to pay your phone bill!”
